A Six Pack of Thoughts

by Jeremy Tidwell

As I sit here savoring the last six pack of Shipyard’s Pumpkinhead beer that I stock piled during the magical season of spookiness known as October, I'm stampeded by various thoughts and ruminations that only come when one becomes ensnared in the hoppy goodness of pumpkin flavored beer or, for that matter, any alcohol-infused beverage.

Shipyard

The mind has a way of meandering to things that matter and things that don’t seem to hold any real value, except to those chosen few who have found a way to let go of the mundane and embrace the glorious. Movies, poetry, books, art, and especially pop culture, all superfluously flow into your cerebral cortex and set up base camp as the spirits of the bottle find their way into your blood stream and endanger your capacity for rational thought.

So I figured I'd give all the discerning and scholarly readers out there a peek behind the curtain. A look into the mind of someone who quite possibly is taking an uncalculated risk by drinking copious amounts of beer in a short amount of time and then spouting off their opinions. But what the hell, I’ve never been one to NOT have an opinion on things. Now join me by cracking open your favorite beer and seeing if any of the shit I spew forth makes any sense to you.

FIRST BEER

Having just read the article that outlined the treatment* (for the uninformed, a treatment is an extensive outline for a screenplay that has yet to be written) for the new Ghostbusters III movie written by Gene Stupnitsky and Lee Eisenberg (those guys of The Office fame), I find myself a little giddy at what could have been. Now, the treatment is by no means perfect (an ending that once again involves crossing the streams) but it does have the feel of what a Ghostbusters movie should be. It should have the original characters involved in a new adventure that brings an end to their story. That gives the audience the closure we've always wanted for those beloved characters. Instead, we'll now be subjected to an all-female “reboot” of the original movie, written and directed by Paul Feig. I'll quote the great Peter Venkman here: “Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!” Definitely not a good thing.

SECOND BEER

Sometimes television shows of your childhood run in syndication on odd channels at odd hours. For me, one of those shows was Boy Meets World, and it airs on the Disney Channel late at night. This night I find myself watching the show while sipping slowly, which allows me to enjoy the beer longer. But I digress. This two part episode was the series finale, where the group of friends left for the big bad city known as New York. I forgot how powerful the show could be, especially when thinking about how it kinda shaped parts of my childhood. Maybe you find that weird but it was a good show. The best friend Shawn, the amazing and hot girlfriend Topanga, the wisdom filled teacher/neighbor Mr. Feeny, and the lovable Corey, all involved in the crazy and wonderful thing known as life. I really do love this show and this episode may have made me cry (but that could just be the alcohol sneaking up on me, causing me to become over emotional). Maybe.

Maxim

THIRD BEER

After a brief conversation with a close friend, I've decided that if you’re not watching the television show Sleepy Hollow, you should be. Gothic horror mixed with modern day comedy. It may sound like a cup of tea you don’t want to taste, but I think you should. There are many aspects of the show that make it an enjoyable watch, especially considering how it expands the mythos of the Headless Horseman and uses our own American history as a basis for its own dark and twisted mythology.

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FOURTH BEER

Based on a chart that I recently saw floating around on the internets, I was able to deduce that if I learn karate, I can become Batman. Yeah, I think it's that easy. Just look it up and you'll see what I'm talking about. Maybe I have that backwards but, whatever. I like beer.

FIFTH BEER

Ah, screw this! Where’s the Fireball?

Thanks for reading, I guess. Maybe you didn’t read and I'm just writing this because it feels like the best way to end this meandering stream of consciousness I'd like to call an article. Either way, I wrote it, and that counts for something.

As for that last beer, well let’s see what happens next time.

*I did find out this was a fake, but it sounds better than anything else I've read about a new Ghostbusters movie.

Jeremy Tidwell is an artist, writer and filmmaker. He loves John Hughes movies and can't sleep with the closet door open. He currently resides at the bottom of Buffalo Bill's pit. He hates the lotion.